well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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