Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
