Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
