I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
