Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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