this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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