Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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