So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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