i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize