After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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