12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
