If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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