Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I touched a dick in church today
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
