My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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