you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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