And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
