I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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