is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
