We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
