Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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