:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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