You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
