I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
