Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
