using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
