FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
