So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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