I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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