Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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