Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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