He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
