6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My vagina is very pro this idea
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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