ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
high people should be assigned attendants
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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