And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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