I have demons in me.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
