I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Randomize
