I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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