OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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