Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
