So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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