You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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