my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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