We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
