needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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