i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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