I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
