So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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