I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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