At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
