we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
