The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
