that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
