the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
