oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize