you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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