Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
