I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
