Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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