Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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