I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
