4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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