Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
